Tuesday, March 23, 2010

A Heaping Helping of Mental Garbage....

I am warning you... This is going to be a seriously random post... My brain is ALL OVER the place today.... haha

I really wish that someone would give me en employee roster and a highlighter and let me mark off the people that we don’t need around. I can think of 12 right off the top of my head without even having to try... I would even be willing to be the one to tell them to take their personal crap and get out... I wouldn’t lose any sleep. It would be lovely.

I love watching people that are on that list when they get in trouble. It makes my day. I’m not kidding... It really puts me in a better mood. And if there are tears, it’s just that much sweeter... I don’t think that makes me a bad person – it may make me a MEAN person, but not really a bad one... And I’m ok with that.

I don’t understand why it is so hard for people to get fired... They make huge mistakes and are given an infinite number of chances! It’s ridiculous. And all it does is show the people that DO work that they don’t really have to because nothing’s going to happen anyway... Just do enough to not bring attention to yourself and you can coast forever... And if you are able to find yourself a group of scapegoats to push the attention onto time and time again, then you can even be COMMENDED for your laziness.

Random jump back to the “mean” thing... I am a happy person (most of the time... everyone gets stressed and needs a few days to pull themselves out of a funk), but I have learned that I am a mean person. Not malicious... Just mean. Now, don’t start thinking that I am always mean... It’s not like I kick puppies or anything!!! In fact, I LOVE puppies. They are just ridiculously cute... And I am a fiercely loyal friend. But stay out of my way and don’t even think of doing anything to someone I care about...

Ok.... Wrote that this morning... Totally lost that train of thought now.....

Hmm.... Next thought.

So I’m still Shredding my butt off.... I’m up to Level 2 now and WOW it’s rough. I’m down 13 pounds so far. (Woohoo) I told my husband the other day that once I lose the weight (it’s probably gonna take a while), I am going to get a cheap (but beautiful – I have been able to find some... They probably aren’t as gorgeous in person, but as long as they photograph well, I’ll be happy) wedding gown and we are going to have these photographers that I like take a bunch of pictures of us and I will put them around the house instead of my “fat” wedding pictures. Of course, I’ll have to keep the old ones with family in them, but the new ones will be on display front and center.... hahaha

I always wanted to do one of those “trash the dress” photo shoots... Where you are posing in ways that you never would have on your wedding day for fear of dirtying the dress... Like sitting in grass or dirt and near/in water... I think it would be awesome. And they have done some “trash the dress” shoots before and the pictures are incredible...

So about the weight thing... I finally decided that enough was enough. No more whining, no more wishing... I had to get off my lazy butt and do something about it. That means – get home from work and Shred (who doesn’t have time for a 20 minute workout?) and eat healthy more days than not. Now, I know that things would probably go faster if I just said “eat healthy” and there may come a time when I hit a plateau and have to amend the more days than not to every day, but for now... I plan on still enjoying things I love... Like frozen yogurt... And comfort food that is probably pretty terrible for you... Like the Cornish Pasty I had at The Olde Ship last week... I adjust what I eat the rest of the day to try to accommodate my yummy treats without going over the calorie # I am trying to hit and most days I am right on. Or close enough to not feel terrible. Even with the Pasty I was able to keep it under the high end of my range...

Now, I am an odd person. I embrace that... And it may seem odd that I do not have a specific weight goal in mind. All I want is to fit into my favorite jeans comfortably again. I don’t care what weight that happens at... If they fit and I feel good about myself, I’ll be a happy girl. I know approximately what I weighed when they fit well before... I don’t know the exact number because skinny people generally don’t weigh themselves all the time like people that have more than a few to lose do. Hahaha... These jeans are seriously cute – they are dark blue, boot cut, with blue butterflies on the pockets. I love butterflies and I love these jeans. I even have the outfit in mind that I will wear the first day that I can wear them again. (I kept a lot of my “skinny” clothes that I loved too much to part with...)

Women’s clothing is really annoying... Why aren’t any sizes the same from one brand to the next? I remember when I was at my skinniest, I wore size 6 in some things and a size 10 in others... And I didn’t really care... I just couldn’t ever have someone give me clothes as gifts without trying everything on first... And that’s still true.

Oh – back to the losing weight thing... (Told you this would be random...) I originally wasn’t going to say anything about trying to anyone. That way, if I gave up, I wouldn’t have to feel bad... I’d be the only one that knew I gave up. But then when I actually stuck with it and started seeing results, I wanted to brag a little... haha So I started telling people. And talking about it more and more... Because now I am accountable... I have people who will know if I slack off... Who will know that I gave up... But I plan on staying with it this time. I wasn’t always like this and I know that I can get back to who I was again.

Ok... enough randomness... It’s almost time to hurry home and Shred. :-)


  1. randomness is good... be random more often!!! I understand the work and being fired... totally sucks... happens every where!!!

  2. Good for you! I think it's wonderful that you're working so hard. It's also great that you have no magic # for weight in mind...you'll know when you're comfy and then you'll simply maintain.

    That's being smart.

  3. Thank you both :-) I have seriously worked on working my butt off lately and I cannot wait to see the payoff... My mantra is "I am the only one that controls the food that I put in my mouth."


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