Why Don’t You Just Break My Heart While You’re At It?

Ok – first off I just have to take a little side bar here and be extremely confused as to why Word just tried to grammar correct my title to “Why Don’t You Just Break My Heart While You Is At It?” Umm... Seriously?

So, I guess I must have pissed karma off or something because it seems like I can’t get back on top of anything. (Soooo not what she said.) My desk at work constantly looks like a bomb went off on it – there are days where I have to get through piles of documents just to be able to uncover my mouse and keyboard so that I can answer an e-mail... And my work To-Do List? Out. Of. Control.

And as if that wasn’t enough to make me pretty much completely disappear from here and not have time/energy to read and catch up on blogs I love (to where I had over 300 unread posts in my Google Reader queue at one point...), karma had to go after the furry little creatures that I love...

Sunday night my boy-cat, Fred, had a seizure. It was pretty much the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. He was perfectly fine - hanging out on the couch - and then it was like someone hit his off-switch. He was completely limp - like a stuffed animal... No response to anything and we couldn’t tell if he was even breathing. From the time that he collapsed to when he started to come back around was the longest minute of my life. He proceeded to stumble around for a while - basically pacing from one room to the next and laying down each time he reached one of his usual hangouts. And his breathing sounded terrible - I always call him a grunty-boy because he kind of grunts when he’s not purring and he snores - but this was totally different. I was out of my mind - no idea what to do or what was happening. Luckily he started to seem more and more like himself, so we decided to just keep him close for the rest of the night and I would take him to the vet in the morning.

Vet visit was horrible as they always are. The cat that normally loves everyone turns into a hissing, growling jerk when he’s being manhandled by strangers in a strange place with too many noises and weird smells... We had a full blood panel and urine test done and went back home to relax and so I could keep an eye on him. The next day I got the results and found out that my little old man has hyperthyroidism and will now need twice-daily pills for the rest of his life. Nothing pointed to what caused the seizure, but she said it could just be one of those freak things that happens once and never happens again...

Now, I know that it could have been much worse – he could have had cancer or some other horribly expensive disease, but he doesn’t. And he is 10 years old, which is the age when this type of stuff starts happening. But it sucks. Like “super-mega-ultra-I-want-to-punch-someone” kind of sucks. I hate having to admit that my pets are just tiny tragedies waiting to happen...

So he has to go back in after three weeks of meds to do a thyroid panel again to make sure they got the dosage right. I’m going to take his sister, Emily, in at the same time to get a full workup done on her since they are the same age... And that way they will both smell like the vet at the same time and I won’t have to deal with her hissing and growling at him for two days again... (Seriously – she sounded like she was out for blood any time he came near her...) Hopefully hers comes back normal...

And now I am even more stressed because there are so many things that I have to deal with from here on out – he has to have his medication every day... That means if we go out of town, I have to try to find a friend willing to go to my house twice a day (if it’s not someone he knows, he will most likely hide, so pet-sitters are not really a great option) to give him his pills. I’m not willing to board him – partly because of the expense and partly because of the whole “becoming a hissing, growling jerk” thing (see above). It’s just too much stress for him. So this leaves me unsure as to what to do when we want to take weekend camping trips... And completely at a loss of what to do to make it so we can go to my family reunion this summer... Missing a few doses for a day here or there probably won’t cause a problem, but an entire week?? I just don’t know what to do about that.

We don’t really have anyone that lives near enough to be able to be there in the morning and at night to take care of him. Ok – scratch that. We don’t have anyone that I would trust to get it done that lives near enough. I would trust my BFF, but she doesn’t live super close (about 30 mile round trip) and that’s not exactly realistic or fair to ask of someone. I definitely would NOT trust my MIL – he’d probably growl at her the first day and scare her and she would refuse to go back... What if I picked someone else and they gave the medication to the wrong cat because they don’t know my cats and my cats don’t know them? Ugh.

My brain is super over-loaded right now. I haven’t really slept – Sunday night I got NO sleep. Monday night I was dealing with Emmy hissing at him any time he tried to come to bed. Tuesday I got to bed late. Last night I kept getting woken up because Fred has decided that he absolutely has to do what I call “Freddy Hat” every time he comes to bed – he crawls onto my pillow, tangles himself in my hair, and lays with his head on mine, purring until he gets annoyed by the fact that I won’t hold completely still. SUPER gag-me adorable, but not really conducive to a good night’s sleep. I’m basically roller-coastering back and forth between sobbing wreck, zombie, and good. More so between zombie and good at this point as I’m calming myself down and realizing that it’s better to know than to not know...

Today was his first dose and as long as he keeps not finding the pill, I think he’s going to think that this whole “getting fed cheese twice a day” thing is the most awesome thing since the invention of catnip....

My little old man – he’s staring up at J, who is his favorite person in the whole world.

On a happier note... Nutrisystem Update - soooooo totally working. Down 23.5 pounds! BOO-YAH.

Motivation...

 And I have been doing A LOT of happy dancing lately.... :-)

I Crack Myself Up

Just wanted to make sure no one at work got a nasty surprise when reaching for chocolate....

Pinterest Makes Me Feel Inadequate...

I decided to participate in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop today... It’s been a long time, but I really liked this prompt. It was: 2.) Are you on Pinterest? Share the last five items you pinned,choose one and let it inspire a blog post.

So here are the last 5 items I pinned:

These are just too cute for words... Right? Am I right?? They are on my “So cute, I’m gonna vomit” board.

From my “I wish I knew how to do my hair like grown-ups do...” board. I think I could actually achieve this one...

That’s true friendship... (From “Crack Me Up, Please”)

Who doesn’t sing “Soft Kitty” to ease sickness?! (Also from “Crack Me Up, Please”) I love Big Bang Theory.

Again from “I wish I knew how to do my hair like grown-ups do...”

So the one I’m sticking with is the last one there... I honestly DO NOT know how to do my hair! I can leave it down with it parted on the side or the middle, pull it half up, or put it in a ponytail. When it is longer I can braid it, though I rarely take the time to french braid... I have had success ONCE with a cute “braid my hair across my forehead” thing, but only once. I have not been able to repeat it even though I have tried sooooooo many times.

That’s it. Really. That is the extent of my hair styling “prowess”.

And I wish that I could do more... But my hair doesn’t like to curl, I can’t really have bangs because of my annoying cowlick, and I just flat out have no idea where to start. I simply comb my hair out after a shower, let it dry, and then brush it in the morning – all the while wishing that I had the skill to do something new...

But since I don’t – I will just keep staring at these pictures... Thinking how pretty they are...

And really missing when my hair was red... (But not wanting to make the effort to have it be red again...)

"Just Keep Swimming"

Ok, I know I said that I wasn’t going to making this all about Nutrisystem and losing weight, but that’s really what’s going on in my life right now... So here’s an update since I’m a week in as of tonight...

I got my first shipment of food last Wednesday – it was a huge box and totally took over the pantry. I was really excited to start trying it, so I went to the grocery store and got the fruits and veggies and other stuff that I am supposed to supplement it with.

 And that's just the breakfasts and lunches... The dinners and desserts are in another cube... And the giant pixie stick? In the trash..... haha But my Orbit Sweet Mint Gum? A pack of that is with me at all times... It tastes like those pink, green, and yellow butter mints... Mmmm...

The first night for dinner I had the one thing that I was the most skeptical and scared of seeing as how none of the food needs to be refrigerated or frozen... The hamburger.

I bought sandwich thins instead of buns to have all the sandwich-y things on because they fit into the plan and was mentally psyching myself up for what I would find when I opened the packet... The horror. I didn’t remember to take a picture – I think I was too freaked out... I may or may not have had a hint of hysteria in my voice when I said “THEY EXPECT ME TO PUT THIS IN MY MOUTH?? That’s what she said....” It looked like those organic pet treats that are just dehydrated chicken or beef – because that is what it was. I stood there staring at it with a very frightened expression on my face until I finally put on my big girl panties and just got to work. To “reconstitute” the burger, you pour boiling water into its little try and let it sit for 2 minutes. I did just that and I have to confess...

It was good. Like, shockingly good... Go figure.

So far I have been pleasantly surprised with the taste of the food. I was worried that it would be like eating cardboard, but most of it has been really good! 

 My lunch the other day... Super yum. The entree was some cheesy chicken noodle thing...

I start off the day with a protein shake (of which Strawberry is TOTALLY the best flavor) and a Nutrisystem Breakfast. Morning snack is a “Power Fuel” – usually either yogurt or cottage cheese. Lunch is a Nutrisystem Lunch, another “Power Fuel” (I usually go with string cheese, almonds, or my personal favorite – edamame. Because, let me tell you – half a cup of edamame out of the shell is a CRAP TON.), salad, and another veggie. Then afternoon snack rolls around and I have a “Smart Carb” – usually fruit like peaches, pears, or applesauce... Then get home from work have dinner – Nutrisystem Dinner, “Smart Carb”, more salad, and more veggies. After that is a Nutrisystem Dessert. (And a ton of water mixed in there... Along with my beloved Diet Coke.)

You guys? I am eating all stinking day...

Don’t get me wrong with that though – it has not been easy... I have had good and bad days. I have had psychotic thoughts like slapping the container of chocolate toffee covered macadamia nuts (LOVE) out of J’s hand and laughing like a crazy person at the look on his face as they all roll around the floor... But then I have good thoughts about how happy I am that the scale is moving in the right direction...

I have been really sad when I have moments where I am hungry and just want to eat something horrible for me, but then that turns around into moments where I am really proud of myself for fighting through.

I have moments where I love the veggies I am eating and moments where I crack my friend at work up by glaring at the sugar snap pea that I am about to eat and telling it that I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns...

Add in my body detoxing from all the crap I’ve been putting in it for years and the massive headaches that has caused and it has not been a dream.

But the scale is totally moving – Down 4 pounds in the first week!

That is what makes it worth it. And the headaches are fewer and farther between... As are the cravings... I figure it will get easier as I go along... It definitely helps that I had awesome support from my bff over the weekend and from J (even if he does eat candy in front of me...) - they make it not suck so bad on the bad days... (and I may or may not have just had something in both of my eyes for a second there... hate when that happens... haha)

I try to keep Dori’s words from Finding Nemo rolling in my brain when I am struggling – “Just keep swimming.” *I don't know why videos don't want to embed anymore, but here's the link in case you don't know what I'm talking about.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmyUkm2qlhA

Because I can totally do this.

And I am gonna look ridiculously hot. Just so you know...

Determination

I have been thinking about trying Nutrisystem for a while now. I know a couple people that have tried it and said that the food was good. The only thing that has stopped me in the past is the cost - it just seemed like a lot of money to spend on the food, but when I really looked at what I am spending on food (even bringing my lunch to work every day) it really wasn't a whole lot more.

So today I finally sucked it up and ordered my first month of food.

I am really excited to try this program - there are a lot of websites out there that have real-world reviews of it and they are overwhelmingly positive. I have struggled with my weight for years and enough is enough. Whining about it and pouting about it doesn't burn as many calories as I wish it would...

I go through phases where I am really good about working out, but then something will happen that will make me miss one or more workouts and then it becomes far too easy to continue missing them... Last time was P90X and I was rocking it for a while and losing weight, but then J's schedule changed and the time that I would normally spend working out was my only chance to see him for the day and crazy me wanted to spend time with her husband. Luckily I haven't gained back all the weight that I lost while I was doing that workout, but the scale is definitely moving in the wrong direction again...

I don't have any plans to make this all about my "weight-loss journey." Mostly because (as titled) this is my place for my mental garbage - it is what it is and it's its own little organism... I will definitely talk about it as I go, but seeing as Nutrisystem isn't giving me anything for this and I am ponying up my own cash here, they aren't getting any exclusive stuff... haha But I will be posting updates.

Wish me luck!!

Umm - Happy New Year?

I took two weeks off work for the holidays and kind of went on an internet/social networking sabbatical at the same time. Then once I got back to work, I have been so busy (seriously – I came back to 297 e-mails waiting for me my first day) that my brain is melted and I can’t get it function enough to make a coherent post. So until I get back to my normal level of busy/stressed/SUPER exhausted, let’s catch up. Grab your diet coke, coffee, tea - whatever tickles your pickle and let’s talk.

- We did some dog-sitting for our friends after Christmas. As you can see it was a rough life:

 Admission: I contemplated putting ‘ruff’ life instead, but that seemed just a little too gaggy. 

Even for me.

- I got this message the other day at work when I was trying to pull up a floor plan to see where someone sits at another one of our offices. It seems a little ominous.

Useful for a paid assassin though.

 - I’m determined to use the coupons that I get all the time. Normally when they come, I put them on the table next to my purse and fully intend to take them with me and use them. And that never happens. Most recently: I received a $5 off coupon for Fresh and Easy in the mail – we went to Fresh and Easy approximately 10 minutes after receiving said coupon – coupon remained at home on the table. As a motivator, I purchased myself this nifty little coupon holder:

 Cute, huh? Find them here. Lots of super cute patterns.

 Sure, I totally could have made this on my own at home for cheaper... But I had an Amazon gift card that I totally would have used to purchase it if I hadn’t forgotten it on the table!!! See?! Desperate need. Now I always have my coupons and stuff with me :-)

- I got this error today when I tried to load a webpage - I guess if you are going to pause, do it gracefully...

- Etta James, the woman that sang the song “At Last,” died. It’s very sad. And the way I just phrased it is WAY better than the way People.com had it on their Facebook page:

 Rude, People.com. You just couldn't wait could you? 

I always thought she seemed like a nice lady...

- I am obsessed with the Albertson’s grocery store game. A woman in my office and I trade game pieces that we can’t use, but neither of us have even won the stupid little $2 prize!

 Aggravation! So close, yet so far away. On so many prizes.

- I’m going to be starting an Etsy store as soon as I get around to taking some pictures. Stay tuned! It’s mostly going to be cuff links and stuff like that.

I really can’t think of anything else... My brain hurts from thinking this much. Seriously.

Have a lovely weekend!